You know, that feeling where you take one step forward and then slide back a little.
Every step, a huge huge effort,
and there is so much sand that you just can't see any way to make it better??
I'm pretty sure most of us feel like that at some point.
It's hard not to feel bogged down, especially if you loose control of your situation
and feel at the mercy of those "in charge"
which in the case of more than half of us in Christchurch still,
is the Earthquake Commission (EQC) and Fletchers (EQR).
Our name has come up, and once again we have had our house inspected,
and EQC and Fletchers have agreed on a plan for the repair strategy for our house,
so this semester in addition to running the house and mothering the children,
and doing uni, I have to pack up our entire house into boxes to be put into storage somewhere
and also find accommodation for all six of us plus our two dogs and two cats.
Then we have to live for maybe 8 weeks and then move back and unpack it all
all the while going to school, running a business and doing assignments.
It will also be spring, so I have to pack both winter and spring clothes
and try and remember every little thing the family will need
while we are re-homed somewhere else.
The older children are trying to move into flats,
and the younger children are worrying about their things.
Every time Annie sees you put something away she says,
"Are we going right now??"
I've become addicted to making these scrap vomit quilts.
I love how you put all the fabrics in a pile and cut them up and sew them back together again.
But when you do, a little bit of magic happens and you don't know how it will turn out
until all of the blocks are finally sewn together.
Sometimes along the way, you really don't think it's going to work,
or you really hate the way it looks,
but suddenly it is done and you stand back and look,
and it is amazing. Different to how you imagined, but just fine anyhow.
I'm really hoping the next six months are going to look like that to us
when we stand at Christmas and look back at them.
I just have to have faith in the process.