Wednesday, September 17, 2014

A [true] story about surprises and joy...

Six years ago we unexpectedly fell pregnant.
It felt like the worst thing in the world to happen to us.
We were in a terrible place financially 
(think GFC, it effects small business too)
and our relationship was rocky to say the least.

Whatever way we looked at it, 
we could not see how this was a good thing.

We were headed into the rocky teenage years
with our eldest two (and man they were rocky)
and at the time we were waiting to hear if Reuben 
had epilepsy or a brain tumour (it was epilepsy).

To say that we were upset, was an understatement.
And nine months didn't help at all.
It was a horrid roller coaster.

In fact, as I was being wheeled into theatre 
to have this baby, this baby that we were so scared to have;
I said: "this is a bad idea". 

But then they pulled out the baby and wrapped her up
and popped a hat on her wee head
and laid her on my chest, and I looked at this wee thing,
and I fell instantly, head-over-heels in love.

And then everything else worked out ok.

I had to go back to work when she was eight weeks old,
and lay off staff and discuss with our accountant whether we should wind up the business or not.
Like I said, it was grim. But each night we came home to our family
and our sweet sweet baby, and it was all ok.

Five years on and we just can't imagine life without her.
In every way she has enriched our lives and 
we could not be more grateful. It is amazing.
I know it sounds soppy, but it's true. We love all our children dearly,
Annie-Rose is easy to love.

Occasionally I hear of someone who falls pregnant
and thinks it is the end of the world,
and I know that feeling.

I know what it is like to stress and worry and wonder how it will all work out.
David and I have been there, done that.
I won't lie, it's a hard hard thing to go through.

It might not be a new baby, it might be something completely different,
life doles out unexpected things in unexpected fashion to all of us at times,
it can seem like the worst thing in the world.

But I promise, that if you open your heart to possibility,
hold on to hope and hang in there, what seems like the worst thing in the world,
can actually be the most amazing gift.


  1. I love your gentle honesty Deb, that you can say all of this about not 'wanting' Annie-Rose but at the same time validate how much you do want her and how much she is so precious to you. xx love it xx

  2. What a lovely post. So glad you have come through the rockier buts and found some family happiness. Sometimes the things we dread turn out to be the best thing that could happen to us!!

  3. That;s rockier BITS!! Sorry! Lxx

  4. Happy birthday to your little sweetie! She brought (and brings!) joy to you at the worst of times.
    (It amuses me that one of the ladies is wearing gumboots. She is ready for anything!)

  5. This is a beautiful post. I was a "surprise". My mom was in the midst of preparations of leaving my dad when she got pregnant with me. She said on her death bed that I was the greatest thing that ever happened to her and her biggest blessing. Babies have a way of growing in our heart and making the best out of very bad situations.

  6. Just makes me gooey inside this post.... these days I am trying to see all the benefits of all the not so ideal things and moments... Have to believe it's all part of a bigger better plan xx

  7. Thank you - I needed to read this post today, to remember that life is hard, sometimes I just need to suck it up and get on with life, we will survive tough times yet again.

    Your Annie Rose is gorgeous!!

  8. This is such a beautiful story. xx


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