I'd like to think I'm a fairly optimistic person,
someone who sees the best in situations and in others.
But recently I've found myself in a situation that I never ever planned for
and it's difficult to see the good amongst the pain.
It feels like it has becomes a slippery slope,
where I can only see the things that are going wrong,
the challenges and the difficulties and the things I can't have.
In this strange and unnatural feeling no man's land I find myself
between what was and what will be,
I have to fight to stop my own resentment
take away from the joy of others.
I truly want to be a person who is honest and transparent
in my interactions with others,
but right now I feel like the flawed human being I am
and I find it easier to just not share how I feel about things.
I acknowledge this period of my life is not the end of my story,
but the thing is I have no idea even what the next plot turn is.
The challenge is to accept the hard times
knowing that things will eventually change
and get better.
Just like in this quilt, where I used the scraps from shirts,
the dark fabrics contrasting with the light
and together (the light and the dark) make a lovely pattern.
So in my life, the pain and the joy are working together for good.
Right now I'm not focussed on whether there is a happy ending,
but on integrating where I am now into the story of my life.