Monday, March 30, 2015

Transition {hint: it hurts}

I'm not going to lie. Transition is tough.
It doesn't matter what changes you are going through,
it's hard. In childbirth, transition is the bit where the mother tells the midwife
that she's had enough, she will just got home now, thanks very much
and have the baby another day.

Transitioning from one life to another is pretty tough too.
It's not just packing boxes, finding a place to live,
shifting the boxes and then unpacking them.

There's a whole lot of life to be unravelled and it seems the strangest things
feel like open heart surgery on the field with no pain killers. 

Today was the final day for me as a director of the company which David and I have run
together for over twenty years. I used my bank cards and fuel card for the last time
and then went and handed them in to the accountant.
There are some papers to sign, but my part of the company
is no longer mine and the rights and responsibilities that go with that
are no longer mine to carry.

I well remember as newly married 23 year old,
learning to type quotations for David (what is a soffit?? a barge??)
and to balance a ledger with a pencil, a rubber and a calculator.
I did the book work for years, through pregnancies, sick babies,
in good times and in bad.

And then later on I did other things, like drug tests, systems,
health and safety and even for one horrible period, quotations.

My heart is sad today. This chapter is over
and the next has barely begun. 

I think the thing to do, is take a moment;
acknowledge how shit this all is, and then wake up tomorrow and carry on.

This too will pass.