Tuesday, April 28, 2015

On being good enough...

Last weekend I took Annie and Reuben to the Geraldine Farmyard Holiday Park
for a couple of nights. Going away is such a drama isn't it,
you have to make sure there is no washing festering in the machine,
the pets are all catered for and that the rubbish bins are empty.

You also have to make sure you bring everything you need,
especially if you are going to a camping ground.
You need food, clothes, bedding, cups, plates, cutlery etc.
You need books and crafts and drawing stuff.
You need all the phone chargers, sigh.

I've taken the children away by myself before of course,
over the years we've done all sorts of things while David was
busy working and supporting us.

But somehow it seems different to do it completely by yourself,
to go away and be with the children
and not have any back up at all,
no one to ring at the end of the day and tell them how things are going.

Also because for the last few years I've been hobbling about on crutches,
I had stopped seeing myself as someone who can do fun stuff with the kids;
having been letting that role fall heavily on David's shoulders.

I feel like my mother skills in this department are pretty rusty,
but these two kids are super easy to please
and are so glad I can walk about and do things with them
(it feels like forever since I could join in activities)
that they don't seem to notice I'm not so great at this.

Most of the time, the children just want you to watch them,
while they do stuff. It's not rocket science really.

Turns out I can lead a donkey, light a fire and cook marshmallows,
feed and organise kids and encourage them to entertain each other
with relative ease. I might not be able to lead a climb up the nearest mountain
or drive my car through a river, but we had lots of fun and laughs together
and that is what counts really.

We forgot quite a lot of important items, but we didn't care;
we ate really average food but we didn't care about that either.
We were together, the weather was kind and we enjoyed the change of scenery.

It felt good and I felt like I could do this,
I can back myself. 
Our life is not over, the kids and I can continue to have fun together.

For now, that definitely constitutes success.