Monday, May 4, 2015

Learning to like me....

One of the things I'm finding the hardest about being by myself,
is that I have to be my very own cheerleader.

I can't rely on anyone else to tell me that I'm doing a good job,
that things are going to be ok.

It's hard sometimes. Some days are hard hard hard,
parenting isn't for sissies.
Study is hard. Starting your own business is hard.
So many hard hard things.

It's hard to balance all the needs in our house
so that everybody goes to bed fed and happy at the end of the day.

You just have to tell yourself that it's ok if the bed didn't get made
or the dishes done, or that load of laundry festered in the basket 
so that the kitten decided to use it as a toilet.

Sometimes I can't think of one thing I like about myself
and I feel unloveable and broken.

But then I remind myself of all the things I am doing
and I know that it will be ok in the end.

I guess I am learning to tell myself....
I'm brave.
I'm kind.
I'm smart.
I'm somebody worth loving.
I am enough.

I'm learning to like myself. Hardest Lesson Ever.