Thursday, June 25, 2015

Picking up the pieces....


So I've spent the last week sewing scraps of fabric together. 
I completely emptied the scrap bin,
which is amazing and very satisfying indeed.

Of course as I sew, I've been thinking.
I think about how I succeeded in the first six months on my own
 and that feels like a good achievement.
I think about whether there will be a second chance for me.
Whether I will ever find someone
 who loves me just for being me,
or if I'm too old, too unattractive and too fat for
anyone to take the risk to love me.


I don't feel like a failure, but I'm a bit worn out
and a bit used up; and I'm busy trying to figure out what the rest of my life
is going to look like. 

But as I sewed my scraps this week, 
I wasn't sure how they would look, all sewn together,
Just like my life, I wondered if when I finished putting it together,
whether the colours would be muddy and the result ugly.


But when I finished sewing the first top
it looked bright and cheerful, if a little chaotic.


Do you know, I've decided it's not a bad thing.
I think my life is going to look a bit like this.
A whole lot of things all patched together,
but hopefully cheerful and maybe a bit chaotic.

I'm stitching my life back together.
I don't know how it is going to look in the end.
I have hope that I will love myself
and maybe, eventually... find someone else to love me too.

8 comments:

  1. A joyful quilt which I am sure reflects you. You are doing so well, Deb. And I am certain there is someone out there waiting for his chance to be with you and share a life with such a kind, practical, nurturing and creative person.

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  2. Just when you give up on men decide that youre going to become a nun and focus on your children , a good man will come along . He may be the least likely candidate and you may be baffled at the attraction but it happens . I can vouch for that

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  3. Poetic. Loving yourself is most important xx

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  4. Seems like when you stitch your life back together it is more pleasing.

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  5. I would just like to say my beautiful friend that regardless of how well put together anyone looks we are all made up of scraps (some beautiful and some blah) and we are definitely all a little chaotic. You are beautiful and precious and loveable xxx

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  6. Beautiful!!! Your heart and the quilt.

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  7. I LOVE it. And I love that it truly does reflect LIFE. My life is about as messy and chaotic - but hoefully also as colourful and appealing as this quilt.
    And in the meantime until you find a new *special* love - you have all of us, your fans and freinds, loving ya.
    x

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  8. How sad life would be if we were all 'cookie cutter' quilts! Embracing your unique and joyful nature is the first step toward happiness! I've heard it said that what you are seeking is also seeking you. I have to believe that this is true. Keep your heart open! Keep creating! There is nothing more attractive than a person who is complete - all by themselves!

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