Saturday, January 16, 2016

Twelve Months


So it's exactly twelve months today since I began to live my life on my own.
Although I had been considering it for a while,
I still can't believe that I actually took that final step
to end my marriage of 22 years.

You might think that after a couple of decades
that you would have sorted out any differences that you have,
but I discovered that that wasn't the case,
and it turns out the rest of your life is a really long time.


As a family we have achieved a lot over the last twelve months.
Both David and I have created separate homes for the children,
managed our finances and kept everyone fed and clothed.

All while negotiating the tricky paths that untangling 22 years 
of living together creates.
For the most part we have managed to do this while
maintaining our equilibrium.


I won't lie, it wasn't easy. 
But actually once the initial decision was made,
the difficult parts were about building a new life,
learning to be a single person,
learning who your real friends are,
and not taking one's self too seriously.


I know that I've made a lot of mistakes,
I've stumbled along and sometimes fallen.
I've got angry, I've cried, I've sworn a lot.

But looking back, I can see that I have stumbled forward,
that even though I've fallen, I have got up again.

I'm so grateful for my life now.
I might cry, but I can smile too.

I have hopes, that this year will be even better.


12 comments:

  1. I admire your courage and fortitude. take care and blessings to you and yours.

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  2. I have hopes for an even better year this year as well. I wish you all good things. There's a word that been running around my head the last week. Success. This is the year for it. For probably painful growth, that leads to strength and success: At work, personally, spiritually, physically and/or creatively. You are a lovely person and we are all lucky to know you.

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  3. Sending wishes for a wonderful 2016 that has many steps forward and only the occasional one backwards. Stand strong and be proud.xx

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  4. Here's hoping the next year will just get easier for you - keep on seeing your quilts are lovely :)

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  5. Best wishes in your next year. And thank you for sharing your thoughts, quilts and adventures.

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  6. The hardest part is now over, been there done that. You may not realize yet how magnificently well you are doing. but you will as you talk with and help others in the future by sharing what still hurts now but will give them a glimmer of hope for their future. It may seem iffy sometimes but you are a very strong and determined lady and you and your's will be fine. I'm so glad for you. You're still in my prayers.
    Tonia

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  7. You are a wonderful person, and you deserve every happiness life can offer ❤️

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  8. The first year of any major life change is the most difficult. Not saying that things might not be hard yet-everyone has hard times come along. You've done and amazing job with this first year and I've no doubt that you will continue to do an amazing job. Also, I love the quilt!

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  9. You are amazing, Deb. You are sweet, kind, loving, friendly, strong, intelligent, and hard-working. You have earned all your blessings, and then some. Here's to a great 2016 for you and your family!

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  10. You are incredible, girl! I followed along on your America trip and had a blast with you. So fun to see my country through your eyes. :) Sending hugs and wishes for a fabulous year ahead.

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  11. Please add a link to your house. Having sold 2 homes myself via word of mouth and T-Me I can say it works!!!) One sold for over $20k above Real-estate agents best/dream price that they quoted me, so by doing it myself I saved that and the 18k approx fees! The other even more that that to the second couple who saw it at first open, all because they "loved the homely vibe and the fact that it was a private sale!" Best advice I got was have all your paper work ready, take names and contacts, follow up all who come to opens or call you and share a Law firm with buyer but make-sure they get more senior person and all will go well!NMW CHCH

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  12. I just found out last week that you and David have separate lives. Wow. That's really big. Good to see your writing about it all. There's a complete lack of malice in your words. Well done.

    ...and your life ahead now is pure possibility.

    I have much respect for both of you.

    Dave sounded like he'd been through a lot...but he's better for it.

    You sound like you have also experienced the richness of the emotional roller coaster, but as you say, you have managed to keep the financials going and set up separate lives.

    It even appears that you two are still a team - your kids are probably grateful for that.

    Wishing you all the lucky breaks and the good lessons learnt - warm regards, Mike

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