I still really care about David and wish all the best for him and his future. But man, this process is brutal. Just negotiating what happens with all your bits and pieces, untangling a lifetime of togetherness into two neat piles, it is hard, hard.
My heart hurts, like actually hurts. In so many ways I feel like I've failed. I failed David, I failed the children, I failed as a wife.
And then, if I'm not a wife, what am I now? I have to reconstruct myself as a person. I have to think about myself differently. I have to back myself.
I feel like a snail who lost her shell. I feel unprotected in a big scary world.
I know that this too will pass, but in the meantime I'm feeling all the feels and its not even a little bit fun.