Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Thinking about dating....

So one of my really good friends "suggested" that it was time
I started to try dating. You know, that whole putting yourself
out there thing, seeing if you can find someone.

It's so hard you know. Remember the donkey on the movie
Shrek who talked about layers?
Donkeys have layers, Onions have layers.

Well I have layers too.

There's the part of me that knows that I can do stuff,
and is confident to do that, 
that knows I am smart and capable
and making good decisions for my life.
That I'm kind and loyal and have a lot of love to give.

And then there is the part of me that feels so freaking unloveable,
that nobody could possibly want to be with me.
(evidenced by the fact that I'm still by myself)
The part that feels lonely in the small hours of the morning
but realises I have so much baggage to drag along after me.

What I really want is to find someone who wants to be with me,
someone to share life with.
Who will hold my hand when we go for a walk,
someone to hug me when I'm scared
and to tell me to get over myself when I get stuck.

I want someone who will laugh with me and not at me,
someone who is proud of what I achieve
someone who listens and asks questions.

But the thing I want more than anything else,
is someone who will let me love them with all of my heart,
because I think the thing about a relationship is that,
the other person has to accept your love too.

Wish me luck!


  1. Oh Deb! I can well imagine that I would be a nervous wreck and equally convinced that I would be an utter failure at dating. I would be. Because unlike you I am not wonderfully brave and adventurous. You will find that person Deb because you will always walk the extra mile and I so love and admire you for that ❤️❤️❤️ You are a brilliant and beautiful person and so very loveable.

  2. You are braver woman than I! I've been widowed almost 7 years now-don't even consider dating!

  3. 22 years married and ive never felt more of a failure than i did when we split , it really was the right thing to do , but the crushing self doubt lingered for a long while . Didnt consider dating it was something id never really done and didnt really get , then met a nice bloke in a chat room for those of us with alternative children , we just clicked . Been with him ever since , he was no good at the dating game either . Sometimes when you give up on things they just happen , just be open to the idea when it comes

  4. You can do it Deb! Loads of good luck your way😃

  5. It is scary! You will meet a lot of jerks and learn a lot about yourself and what you don't want. You will find love again, I have no doubt about that. As someone who started dating again after a marriage breakdown I only have one piece of advice. Pay attention to the red flags. And one more. Have fun!

  6. Nearly 3 years after my breakup I've found someone who shares with me all the items you've mentioned you want. I passed on others as there was something that just didn't click when we were together but it felt "right" with him from the first moment we met. We've been seeing each other for 6 months now and he builds my confidence in myself that I can do anything I want and supports me being me. Wishing you find your "Mr Right", but don't be in a rush, and if you are fortunate he will find you as that is how I met mine.

  7. Whatever happens Deb make sure he treats you right. That matters - first date, every date, every day. You are worth treating right and you must not settle for anything less ok? It matters - xxxxx


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