Sunday, November 20, 2016

Are you ok?

I notice there is a thing on Facebook at the moment where people are cutting and pasting a thing to raise awareness about suicide. New Zealand has ridiculously high suicide rates, this year it is the worst it has been since they started keeping records about it.

I'm sure that all of our lives have been effected by someone we love who either tried or succeeded in committing suicide. Recently I was having a drink with some friends and one of them was telling a story about how a close relative of theirs had ended their life. She said,

I wish they knew how much they were loved

and it really struck me how that is something we all wish. My mum used to tell me that suicide was a long term solution for a short term problem. But seeing as it is epidemic in our country, I think we all need to be more aware of those around us. This week someone close to me has been struggling and it is so hard to say, are you ok? because you don't want to put the thoughts in their head. But the reality is, that someone is not going to kill themselves because you suggested it.

They are going to take that long term solution because they simply cannot live one more day with the pain they are living with. They need us to ask, are you ok? because they need to know that we recognise that they are struggling.

So don't just cut and paste something on Facebook and think that will be sufficient. Make sure you go to your friend you are concerned about, spend some time, maybe have a coffee with them. And make sure you ask, are you ok? really ok?


  1. The times I have been suicidal I would have been so grateful if someone asked me that question. The answer would have been no but it would have helped to kmow that someone cared enough to ask.

  2. Well said Deb. I keep trying to teach my two young kiddies that the greatest gift you can givesome is your time and in this world of 'sharing a post' on social media to 'do your bit' isn't really cutting it for me. Stop, smile, ask and listen.

  3. Thank you for writing this and stating exactly what we really do need. Ask if we are O.K. ? and that we are loved.

  4. I'm awfully glad you posted because I was worried about you - I know your country had another seizure and I saw images of a major road demolished that linked your town with others. Yet, you worry for others. You are a special person and I'm glad that you are safe.

  5. I love this post - thank you. I agree with it all - I have felt desperate and texted a friend that I was having a hard time -and gotten no response at all!! It means so much just for someone to acknowledge your suffering.


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