It was the harvest festival at Rudolf Steiner School this morning.
These days nothing makes me feel more inadequate as a mother
as having to turn up on mass with the other parents. There are a couple of reasons why,
the fact I'm a single mum and the fact that I'm a working mum.
Nobody actually says anything negative, but it's me judging myself.
After all nobody can make me feel like rubbish than me.
Honestly I'm a pro at it.
Being a working mum means for me that I never quite do either job as good as I want to.
When I'm working, I can't deal with the kids
And when I'm parenting, I can't deal with the work.
It's a balancing act, which actually gets easier as the kids get older
but let's not talk about the school holidays......
And being a single mum just means I am stretched thin.
It's almost impossible to volunteer for all those things the school wants me to do.
It means that I remember every Thursday that I was supposed
to take two pears or two apples to school on Tuesday
and it means that the important school notices
have probably been used to wipe sticky fingers on in the car
because I keep forgetting to buy wet wipes.
Honestly all of those things are things in my head,
today my little darling was thrilled to bits to have me at school,
(I know because she waved to me from the stage).
So this is me telling myself to get over it,
I'm doing ok really.
Here's to all parents everywhere doing the best they can.