Sunday, March 26, 2017

There's a new Mrs Robertson...


Yesterday morning I woke up very early and lay in bed trying to figure out why I was feeling upset about David's big day. It made no sense to me because I'm happy that he has a new person and even happier that they were getting married.  Just because I didn't want to be married to him anymore, doesn't mean that I wanted him to be unhappy.

I worked out what was upsetting me, and it's a bit silly really. It is because now there is a new Mrs Robertson and she is the step-mum to my kids. They have step-siblings now and a whole bunch of new people in their lives. I know that I've been very easily replaced in David's life and I guess I was subconsciously concerned that the kids would find me just as easy to replace.

My rational self knows that is not the case. I'm mum and I always will be. And Rhonda is a really important person in their lives and I want them to get to know her, to like her and to respect her; if for no other reason, because their dad loves her. 

Rhonda and I, while not friends, can respect each other's place in the children's lives and we can communicate with each other to this end. 

I think it is ok to feel a bit sad at this change of things. 

I won't lie. I shed tears. It's just so hard to have your kids involved in something so big and you can't be there. But they all did really well and according to all accounts the day went off perfectly. And if my heart hurts a little, don't worry. I'll get over myself I'm sure.

5 comments:

  1. Deb .... xxxxx I'm sure you articulate perfectly what many parents feel when this happens for their children x

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  2. You're a brave lady, Deb - and a generous one too. ��

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  3. I think you are handling this great. This will also make it so much easier on the children too.
    They take their cues from you on how to handle this new "Num in their life. And they don't want to be unfaithful to you. Been there and done this and have never been sorry for the way it was handled. I think you will be too. No regrets.
    I know it is still hard though and I'm lifting you in prayer.

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  4. Having gone through this, I understand the feelings. It may be a good opportunity to talk to your kids about their feelings. They may be feeling similar feelings. That maybe their dad will love the new wife and kids more or that he wants to be with his new wife now and not them.
    As for being replaced. I think men often need a woman in their lives. I don't think it's an issue if replacing you but a situation of not finding contentment in being alone. Men don't generally sit and focus on feelings and working through them. They don't think about feeling lonely or abandoned. They just fix it. And of course, not all men.
    This process, these feeling take years to work through. Please, be so kind to yourself.

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  5. Hugs, change always brings emotion and this is a big change! You're doing a darned good job of it though, you know the why so now it's just a case of getting to the other side. Talk to your kids, see if they're feeling the same way.

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