Wednesday, September 6, 2017

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to



Tomorrow it's my birthday. I'll be 49.
It just sounds so old, like old old.
But the weird thing is I don't feel old.
I still have a lot of hope and dreams.

I still have a lot of things left to do 
before i get, like really old. 

I won't lie, my life isn't where I want it to be
and as if to really emphasise this fact
this week life really kicked my butt.
{insert pity party here}


But you know, life goes on. 
It's ok I think to stop and cry a few tears
to kick at the walls that surround you
and to rage at injustice.

It's ok to admit out loud that things
are not going as well as you wish they were,
that you feel the burden is to great
and the fun has worn off.

But it is not ok to set up camp there.
It is not a place to live out the rest of my days.


So this post is me giving notice to myself,
time to get up, to brush myself down
and keep on moving forward.

After all I still have one year to go
to get to my self-appointed goal of
"having my shit sorted".

But you know, if I get to this time next year
and I still haven't got there yet,
as long as I'm still moving forward 
and made progress from last year
well that's all I can ask for really.

Happy Birthday to me.


10 comments:

  1. Happy birthday for tomorrow! I'm only a year behind you in the getting old stakes, and I really hope there isn't a deadline on getting life sorted, because mine certainly isn't! But heading in the right direction (even if it is sometimes two steps forward and one back) seems to me a much better goal than actually achieving the perfect life.

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  2. Happy birthday Deb, you are such a beautiful person and so happy that we meet when you were in the US. If I was over there I'll bring cake, coffee and wine and though in a couple of hugs

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  3. Happy Birthday Deb, I hope you have a fabulous day, what ever you end up doing.

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  4. Happy birthday to you! I turned 50 last year. Still can't believe that I'm 50 and will be even older this year! How did that happen?

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  5. Do we ever really get our shit sorted? The things we fabulous women have is some wisdom up our sleeves! Celebrate that! I have a friend who also shares a birthday with you tomorrow, I phoned her this morning to wish her a happy birthday.........I was a day early! Anyway no matter the age celebrate, heck start today by loving yourself! Early birthday Hugs from the winterless north xx

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  6. Happy birthday for tomorrow dear and lovely friend. I love the tenacity with which you approach life and that you are extending grace to yourself too - all the love xxx

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  7. Happy happy birthday for tomorrow Deb. I can assure you 49 is definitely not old. After all it's only a number and although mathematics may have been around for a long time, it doesn't age. I am now 57 and boy I sure don't feel that. Having said that I have days where I think I am meant to feel "old" but it's not the word I would to describe it. Some days I feel "aged", some days I think I should "grow-up", especially with the looks the kids give me at times. Other days and these are most days I feel "normal",- happy, sad , shytie, in a black hole, bewildered, the list goes on but you know none of it is to do with my age. It's just me. So my friend, go forth and conqueor and be proud of who you are. xx

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  8. Happy Birthday. 49 not not old! I'm 67 and I was amazed when I visited Melbourne recently and people kept opening doors for me and giving me a seat on the tram. I guess I look like a little old lady but my mind hasn't caught up!
    I'm sure there will be many good times ahead.

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  9. Happy Birthday Deb! Celebrate! You survived another year! Always less than we want. Always more to do. Still celebrations are in order!

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  10. Happy late birthday! I'm sure you had a fab day. I had my night made for me last night, when the lady sitting next to me at Midnight Oil thought I looked far too young to know a Midnight Oil song (ha!) and when I told her my age (only 2 years younger than you), she totally did not believe that I was that old! The students at school tell me I look like I'm 60/70 or even 100 (I tell them I wonder who made me old ;) ) so I loved this!

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