Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Twenty Years...

Twenty years ago today we said "I do". We did not know what we were letting ourselves in for, but who does really? What we did know was that love wasn't a feeling, it was a decision; and we decided that we were committed to this relationship.

Well I can tell you that the sun hasn't always shone, sometimes it's been dark and grim. But we were committed to our relationship and we are both stubborn enough to not want to be the one who gives up first.

Did you know 80% of relationships with special needs kids split up? We didn't want to be a statistic. We have learnt how to support and rescue the other party when it all gets too much, and it does sometimes. We are not perfect, sometimes, we shout, and occasionally we swear. But we are in this for the long haul and we have faith that we will make it in the end.

David and I are so happy today. It feels like a great achievement. It's a milestone and we are celebrating it. We were talking this morning about how we are different people to the ones that we married. Our horizons have grown so much, we are engaged much more with life. It's exciting. I won't lie, the process of changing nearly killed us and our relationship. But the thing is that learning to let each other change and still loving each other through all of those changes that come with becoming an adult and a grown-up, that is what has been the making of our relationship.
Looking back over the last 20 years, we celebrate the births of our children, each so precious and each child adding something unique to our family. We celebrate the great family times, holidays, birthdays, random celebrations... 100 nights reading, the Party For No Reason, Learning to Tie the Shoelaces to name a few. We've had a lot of pets and a few houses (three of them in one street). We've changed slowly but surely from a family that valued possessions, to a family that values experiences. We have realised over the years that mainstream education didn't really fit our family that well, and that we all learn the best by doing.

Alongside our relationship, we have also built a business for the last 20 years too. For us it's not just about Painting and Decorating, it's been about commitment to find the way to do things the best way we can. Like with our relationship, we've made lots of mistakes but also like our relationship we are rock solid in working together as a team. Thanks to 10,000 earthquakes we have a lot of work right now, but the project with Fletchers Construction has a definite end and we don't know what will happen after the next three years are completed. What we do know, is we will talk and talk and pray, and talk and talk some more, and make plans and move forward to whatever the future holds.
Do we have any regrets? Well I wish we had asked for help more often. I'm sure it would have been given. Maybe we didn't need to be so brave and so strong all the time. It would have been ok to cry a bit more and let someone else take the load. It wouldn't have made us less of a couple. It would have been all right.
Thank you David for the last twenty years. Let's plan on continuing being a great team for the next 20!
Love you  sweet heart! Being married to you has been hard, but also the most rewarding thing we can do together. You are still my sunshine and I don't care how cheesy that sounds.


  1. Congratulations Deb - that is such a wonderful achievement. I thought we were going to have a wedding with a proper dress at 20 years - or was that just kyleigh and I????

  2. Congratulations Deb! I love what you say about learning to let each other change and still loving each other through it, so so true.

  3. Congratulations! It is such a marvelous celebration to reach twenty years! Here's to twenty more!

  4. ‎────(♥)(♥)(♥)────(♥)(♥)(♥)

    Happy Anniversary!

  5. Happy Anniversary - what a beautiful post xxx

  6. Congrats to you both what a fantastic celebration and inspiration to everyone!

  7. Happy anniversary. Here's to twenty more!

  8. Beautiful! Thank you for being just as stubborn as each other and making it work! You've bet the odds and because of that you are an inspiration! :)

    Hope you managed to celebrate it some how


  9. Lovely post. Wish I could give you a congratulatory hug in person! That is such an achievement. Congrats to you both. xxxx

  10. Beautifully honest Deb. Congratulations and our love.

  11. Congratulations! I love the stubbornness of you both :) Beautiful post,hope you had a great celebration and all the best to the next 20! L x

  12. Congratulations to you both!!! Another beautiful post Deb. x

  13. Deb this is so are are so honest and open about what it takes to make marriage work and i love that. happy anniversary. 20 years is a huge milestone.

  14. Congratulations Deb, 20 years is longer than we've been married; but we'll have been a couple that long in October. We're also determined not to be one of those 80% statistics, and I think we'll be fine on that front. Keep doing what you're doing; grow together and stay strong.

  15. Oh, this is gorgeous. Congratulations on 20 years of marriage! That is some thing very special to celebrate nowadays. Good on your both for making it work, and appreciating the good and bad.

    ps: and yay, I am your 500th follower!

  16. Congratulations! Well done :)

  17. Congratulations and happy anniversary!

  18. What an amazing achievement. Congratulations!

  19. This my favorite post that I have read on any blog. You are special people. Congratulations.

  20. This is so beautifully written.
    Abraham and I will be up to 4 years in Dec, but I look forward to the day when I can write about our 20 yrs too. You're very inspiring (and lovely!) x

  21. Happy (belated) anniversary!
    Wishing you joy and strength over the coming years, and a marriage that is even more committed (in the good way ;-).
    My dad was a carrot-top too when he was young, but I always knew him as grey then white.

  22. Yeah. I cried again.

    Love it.

  23. Tried to leave a comment from my iPhone and lost it somewhere out there. What a beautiful post. We're celebrating 20 years on June 20th, too, and I couldn't have said it better myself! Congrats on 20 years and may you have that many more, several times over!


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