I loved your post yesterday about building the beautiful desk for your daughter.
I loved the care and detail in the work you did and I can't stop thinking about what you wrote.
I want to tell you that one of the best things my mum did for me was build me a dolls house.
I treasured it for years and years because I remembered that mum built it for me.
It used to make me so happy to wear the jumpers that she knitted,
it made me feel loved and cared for in a place that words didn't reach as well.
She was a rock-star my mum, she built my brother a garage too for his matchbox cars.
My mum could do anything and that made me feel safe and loved.
I don't remember any of the dinners mum cooked us when I was little (sorry mum)
and I don't actually remember her playing with us when we were little,
but I remember how happy she was one day when we surprised her and tidied up.
I remember how she would send us out side so we could lie on the grass
and watch the clouds float by while she did the laundry. It was amazing.
I remember her showing us how the mousetrap would eat a carrot
and I remember her terrifying us going down steep hills.
She used to pretend the brakes had failed (we lived in Dunedin)
but we were always safe with her at the bottom of the hill.
I remember the holidays we went on but I don't remember Christmas until I was seven.
I remember sitting under a broom bush and listening to the seeds pop.
Mum was about somewhere, she didn't hover,
but I loved that I was allowed to explore by myself. I always felt safe and loved by her.
I remember going to the beach a lot and watching the waves on a stormy day.
I remember how kind mum was once when I had an accident in my knickers.
Our teenagers remember the amazing bedrooms we painted for them
and the tramps we went on. They remember holidays in little tents in the rain
and they remember people throwing up in buckets.
They remember that there was always bunting for any occasion.
They remember the time David took them to the zoo
and the monkey pulled a poo out of his bottom with his hand
and they remember the times we went to Christmas in the park.
They remember treasure hunt dinners and pancakes for breakfast on sunday.
I'm grateful they don't remember my less that great efforts at parenting when they were tiny
when life was grim for us in many ways.
So Stella what I wanted to say is that you are doing a fantastic job.
Kids remember the randomest stuff. It's all ok. You are a great mum.
You are making the best of your time. It's ok to have a to-do list.
You are making awesome memories with you kiddies.
You have plenty more time to make memories, in fact it gets even better as they get older.
Don't worry. You are doing awesome. More than awesome.
If you do what you enjoy, the kiddies will enjoy it too.
Take lots of pictures and tell stories of things you have done.
That's what makes great memories.
I wish I could give you a hug right now. If I was your mum, I'd be super proud of you.
I most certainly am not the perfect parent and I've made loads of mistakes,
but I love my kids and they love me. That's all that matters really in the long run, isn't it?