Thursday, June 27, 2013

Keeping it real: Living with Anxiety

I've mentioned this before, Reuben finds life a struggle.
We manage things with routine and predictability; exercise and medication
and most of the time this works just fine.

And then sometimes the wheels fall off and it all gets a bit hard.
This is one of those weeks.
The wheels fell off and we pretty much lost them!

There are lots of factors, it's the middle of winter and it's bitterly cold,
it has rained an awful lot and he hasn't been able to get out
walking his little dog as much as usual.

He is upset because we have started talking about 
how we are going to move out to get our house repaired
and where we are all going to go etc.
It is made so much harder by the fact we are not in charge of the process
and cannot control where and when it will be,
and we probably won't all be together.

Today I feel exhausted and drained, and worried because the weekend is tomorrow
and we will have to deal with it all day every day,
so today I'm going to move slower than usual,
tick simple tasks off my list - change some wet sheets (a hottie leaked)
get some laundry washed and dried,
get some dishes washed and put away
and finish sewing the blocks of my Christmas quilt together.

This weekend we will keep warm,
plan a couple of simple outings and eat very healthy easy food (like soup)
hopefully the sun will shine a little bit
and we can get out for some fresh air.

Bit by bit the wheel will turn and things will come right again
and the pieces will be put back together.

This is what living with a child with anxiety is all about.


  1. I have been there, and it is tough. It brings life back to basics and simple pleasures. It makes you appreciate real things and slows you down.
    It's upside is it makes you realize what is real and see the rest as froth and bubbles. It declutters your life and anxiety free days are pure gold. I do yoga and deep breathing and it really really helps my anxiety. Don't forget to nuture your soul. You are the glue that holds it all together.

  2. Hi Deb...we live on the anxiey train as well. my little guy needs predictability and routine and a physical outlet as well. Its tough. we are just about to head into 2 weeks of school hols and if there is one thing my guy hates is school holidays...they have to be planned with military precision. The go slow days are a great strategy. Deep breaths (me) and trampolining even in the rain (him) work for us. And when the wheels fall off I just keep on putting one foot in front of the other. Fingers crossed for you.
    Al x

  3. Hi Debs. Thinking of you. especially when I was in your part of town this week. Your blog posts are so great and you know we are all supporting you in our prayers

  4. One step at a time seems to be the best way to get through these things. Youngest has anxiety issues around change (part of autism), he's coped remarkably well with our repairs, but I think that's partly because we've lived here throughout and much of the work has happened while he was at school. Moving out wasn't something we wanted to do, opting out was what we did to avoid that.

  5. DH has anxiety issues on top of his ADD (and I think he has some aspieness to him too). Some days (eg today) I just want to throttle him but I just have to support him and wait until things come right again.

  6. Know how you feel - we need to keep things relatively routine in our household for my daughter. No spontaneous outings or treats - always at least 2-3 days notice so she can process things. She has had a day off school today - think she just needed a break. Roll on school holidays and time for us all to slow down. Don't forget to give yourself a break to - even if it is just a hot cuppa.

  7. As a parent with a child with anxiety I really understand this post! My son is 17 and the only advice I can give is to keep talking to him. And talking and talking and talking. It is the only thing that really helps with my son's anxiety.

  8. Will think of you this weekend.(but you are doing a very good job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Hugs Baukje

  9. Hugs to you my dear. I am right their with you. But my little guy is no longer so little he is 19 now and bigger than me...And is home with me 24 hours a day. He is mentally disabeled with multiple diagnosis and can be a handful. And yesterday morning he had a melt down on the way to the doctors for his check up. Life can be such a struggle epsecially now tha tI have been diagnosed withg breat cancer and am dealing with the ups and downs of surgeries and many appointments and lots of medical bills. But I continue to do all that I am capable of doing each and every day for my little man. But the stress is getting to all of us. Wish we could run away and stick our head in the sand and escape reality for a bit. But life never works that way does it. Jus tknow that you are not alone. And that these bumps will smooth out.

  10. The wheels haven't fallen off here but we're on a rocky road for sure... and yes - the tiredness that comes with winter probably has a lot to do with it. A slow and pregnant Mama isn't helping either - she (me!) just wants to sit or sleep and doesn't want to (can't!) kick the footy or take long walks like she used to.

    We'll make it. Being kind to ourselves is the first step. Lowering expectations is another. ...and positive self talk - that is a must!!!

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  12. So so true :)) Hope this week is better for you xxxx

  13. Oh it is something which affects everything. We have the same problem Our son has it to the extend of OCD. It increases my anxiety being worried


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