I used to have a good friend called Sally
and whenever I needed someone to talk me down off the edge
I would go over to Sally's house and she would sort me out.
After Sally died from breast cancer, I realised that I didn't have any pictures of her,
even all the time that she was sick, I never really thought about taking pictures
(we didn't all have cameras on our cell phones then)
and the only thing I had of her was this cardigan.
I have a precious memory of walking past her at school
and her being cheeky to me and she was wearing this cardigan.
For ages and ages I just kept it in my cupboard
as something special. Something to pull out and hold every now and again
and wish that she was here. I discovered that good friends are irreplaceable.
The space never gets filled, it is just always there reminding us of what we lost.
This year I've been slowly working through a bunch of personal stuff
that I'd shoved into the back of my heart,
It really is amazing how much crap we can keep stored away
and how easily we can let people keep on hurting us even after
we think we have moved on.
Recently I pulled the cardy from the cupboard and I've started wearing it.
Not everything that has hurt us bad and not everything needs to be thrown out,
but much like Sally's cardy there, for me it has been time to pull out some of those old things
and embrace these things that have hurt and just acknowledge they are there.
We might be healed up from our pasts,
but we have scars. Scars are fine. Nothing to be ashamed of at all.