I try and be fairly honest on the blog here
and not just show a glossy picture of how things are.
So I thought I'd just share a bit of how I'm going with my challenge
and the rough spot I've hit with it.
This week I made a quilt from the book with what I thought was a winning combination
and in my mind it was going to be the best quilt I've ever made.
Yeah. Well when I made it, the picture in my head and the actual quilt
did not go together and I was deeply disappointed with the result.
I messaged Juliet and said I wanted to cry
because I was so sure it was going to work out just like in my head
and clearly it had not.
I realise that I may have be over reacting and it might turn out fine,
but I still felt disappointed with myself when I faced the last four quilts.
The next one I made a mistake when I was sewing on the borders,
but then I thought it was ok, so I trimmed it up and it will be fine.
Then I had to face one that should be the easiest in the book,
called Raven Rock. But because the dimensions of this thing are so big
and my cutting mat is 23 inches wide, and because that required me to do actual maths,
this thing was doomed from the start.
Also I am trying to make as many of these quilts as possible from stash
and I had some kiddie prints left over from the year I made 30 odd pillowcases
and I thought I could make it work.
Turns out that my maths + cutting skills suck in a big way,
and possibly I can't even count to 10 without making a mistake
and so the end result is a quilt with multiple flaw
that can never turn out like the picture in John's book.
In fact I managed to completely miss one entire column
(who the heck does that?) and of course I don't have any fabric to match
but I've managed to cobble the poor thing together anyhow.
A blind man might like it. Who knows.
Or a homeless person.
It will lie flat, I just couldn't be bother pressing it by the time it was together
and I realised what a complete failure it is.
Anyway. I'm trying to tell myself that making something that fails
does not make me a failure, just someone who needs to keep practicing.
I now have one week left before I have surgery
and the last two quilts to make which look fairly difficult,
including one that scares me (Fallen Timbers)
and one I don't like that much (Glimmerdust).
You always get to the point in a challenge
where you feel like giving up and that you won't make it.
Right now that is the point I'm at.
I've made some quilts that are lovely
and some with some flaws that don't matter,
but then I've made one where I got the colour so wrong
and one where I got the construction so wrong.
It makes me second guess my ability at all.
I realise that some of you reading this are falling off your sofas laughing
and wondering why I think this, when clearly I can turn out some good quilts.
But I just want to be honest here,
this is exactly how I'm feeling. I feel like I'm not good enough.
I really wanted to make quilts that honoured John's patterns
and some of mine really don't do that.
I'm disappointed in myself.
But I am not going to give up and
I am going to push through and make those last two quilts.
And lets face it, I've always said,
a wonky quilt still keeps you warm.