It's a long weekend. This afternoon I dropped the teen off to the bus to go to Easter Camp. I told him it's a right of passage and all the kids go. It's true. I believe that, but I also really just wanted him to have some fun that I don't have to dredge up myself. The term has been long and frankly we all need a break from each other. I'm really really hoping that he has a lot of fun, lots of laughs and makes new friends.
I feel bad sending him because it's pouring with rain, like pouring pouring. I made him pack all his stuff in a plastic rubbish bag inside his suitcase. He has a waterproof jacket that he magicked up from somewhere, a pair of gumboots we borrowed from his dad. The budget isn't balancing this week anyhow so I went and brought him a new polar fleece blanket to drag around the place and hopefully he will be warm. Quilts are not cool to take to camp when you are fifteen.
I had high hopes for the weekend, but I don't think they are going to work out. So my current plans are to sleep in every day and wear pyjamas a lot. I need clean the house, do some laundry, to bake a cake with the dying bananas and to make some soup with the last of the soup mix. I hope to knit a bit more on the Sunshine Shawl for Sad People. That is actually it's name. How appropriate. I hope to help Annie have some fun on the (second hand) sewing machine I gave her for her birthday. We hope to make a dress. I need to bind a baby quilt and finish one for another baby.
Our original plans involved hanging out with my friend Mr W, but he is having a hard time on lots of fronts. Hopefully we can hang out but we will see. There is nothing that I find harder than giving someone space. I automatically think they are rejecting me. This is hard for both of us. I'm trying not to be all needy but it's hard. I don't know how a week which started out so good, ended up so shit. I'm kinda drowning in an emotional stew.
I think I'm becoming an ostrich because I can't bear the alternative. I'm holding on, taking one day at a time. Because what else can I do??