It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to

Tomorrow it's my birthday. I'll be 49.

It just sounds so old, like old old.

But the weird thing is I don't feel old.

I still have a lot of hope and dreams.

I still have a lot of things left to do 

before i get, like really old. 

I won't lie, my life isn't where I want it to be

and as if to really emphasise this fact

this week life really kicked my butt.

{insert pity party here}

But you know, life goes on. 

It's ok I think to stop and cry a few tears

to kick at the walls that surround you

and to rage at injustice.

It's ok to admit out loud that things

are not going as well as you wish they were,

that you feel the burden is to great

and the fun has worn off.

But it is not ok to set up camp there.

It is not a place to live out the rest of my days.

So this post is me giving notice to myself,

time to get up, to brush myself down

and keep on moving forward.

After all I still have one year to go

to get to my self-appointed goal of

"having my shit sorted".

But you know, if I get to this time next year

and I still haven't got there yet,

as long as I'm still moving forward 

and made progress from last year

well that's all I can ask for really.

Happy Birthday to me.