Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Beginning is easy, continuing is hard {Japanese Proverb}

I've been writing this blog for years now. Many years.
It's become a way for me to process all the things in my head
and in someways, a journal of the meanderings of my life.
There's so much going on in my life right now,
that I'm just going to take 10 minutes and capture them.

It would be an understatement to say that I'm going through a period of change.
There's so much change, its ridiculous. Tomorrow I finish my current job
and on Monday I start a new one. 

This job almost broke me to be honest,
(it probably almost broke my boss too actually)
but I learned to make cold calls like a pro
and I've mostly got over the deep sense of failure I developed in the first 12 months.
I learned to have great self talk, and to set mini goals for myself
that made it seem like I was actually making progress.
It's a shame to leave just as I am getting good at it,
but that's how it is I'm afraid.

Anyway on Monday I start a new job that I'm very excited about
in which I truly hope I can make a difference every day
and it's a lot closer to my future social worker heart.
But because of this new job (I'll tell you about it sometime)
I have had to bring forward the changing of my name.

I'm legally changing my name, but I'll keep blogging under Deb
but if you know me in my real life, you will know that I have a new name.
The reason is because I've been writing here for so long,
my Deb Robertson name is very very easy to find
and that's not such a good thing for my future roles.
I plan to keep writing in this space as Deb, I hope you can still find me if you want to!

And then because clearly two life changes are not quite enough,
Annie and I are moving house. 
Once again, this was something we were planning, but not quite right now.
But a few things have come together and so it's happening in two weeks.
This weekend I'm packing the things to go in storage
(all the books and two 60 litre containers of precious things)
and sorting the things that we will take with us.
and the much much larger pile of what we will get rid of.

Our sweet little house is being rented to a young friend of mine
and he's found himself some flatmates.
I hope it all goes well for all of us.
Annie and I are moving in with family for three years
while I finish my studies.

It's going to be really lovely and we are looking forward to it.
But also I won't lie, we are sad to be leaving our house
and we might not come back to live here (but that's another future post).
We have only been here for a year
and we can't quite believe we are moving already.

In the meantime I'm still trying to finish an essay that is almost killing me
and catch up on my studies while working full time.

I'm filled with a whole lot of feelings that I'm having trouble processing.
I don't know really what's going on, but I am holding onto hope that it's all going to be ok.

I've come so far now. I can't give up.
Even though right now, I have moments when really really wish I could.

There's been a few quiet tears in the shower
and lots of encouraging words from friends helping us to get through.

We will get there I think. I'll keep you posted.


  1. so, so many changes and even when they are good ones they are still exhausting. Will you be closer to me? I'd love to take you out for coffee or lunch one day (when it won't add to the stress) - let me know what is good for you. xxx

  2. I understand your tears and your fears. Such big changes for you both.. You will have support of your family. I know you have times when you feel like giving up. you have COME so Far. Keep going. You are doing so well. Changes do seem to come in twos or threes. I know, some aren't of our doing, and some are. And it feels like a huge weight. You will be fine. You will be a different person, when this is all over. You will look back and think "Hey I did it YAY" I know.. I moved away from family (long story) south to North. Whole new place and people, and it has been 9 months now. Settled in as well as I can, and still going. Send you a hug and positive thoughts. Xx

  3. Can I just say ... you are brave! I admire you. So much change over the years and yet, here you are. You epitomise the ‘we can do hard things’ quote. I look forward to seeing more of your journey. In the meantime will be praying a deep peace for both you and Annie in the midst of it all xx

  4. Wow that is a lot of change happening over a short space of time. Wishing you the very best of luck with your new job, the move and with your studies....


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